It was really great having hair because I was able to effortlessly be androgynous. You know, that’s really something that you lose when you’re bald. My hair came out when I was like 17 years old, it started coming out in the brush, like in clumps. I was devastated. I had this thick head of hair and then all of a sudden it was gone. And I wonder how much of me going back into the closet was related to that?
Cause it was like, okay, I lost what felt like the center of my ability to express my gender. I felt like I had to lean into a more masculine expression for any number of reasons, and that was certainly one of them. But all of that really was painful.
We all come to adulthood through any number of different paths. I think I advocate for there to be a multiplicity of ways that you can approach gender. And, on a societal level—just stop telling people that any of them are wrong. I do believe that the largest problem we have is our relationship to the world. Shame does not need to exist if it doesn’t serve us in any way.
I think that’s the argument that has led us to the point where we are now—in the sense that the medical community, or some subset of it, recognizes how dangerous it is for us to continue to be unrecognized and unable to easily access gender affirming care.
That has a direct correlation to the suicide rates. I think that’s why we’ve taken such a radically different approach in the past decades—because yeah, we’ve got to turn that around. And the easiest way to turn that around for kids is to just let them be who they are.